Every person has their own way of responding to conflicts and disagreements. This is especially true during times that are filled with passionately felt emotions like during a divorce. When both parties have worked together to find an alternative to a traditional court process like mediation, there are things to keep in mind and ways to make the entire experience more positive and successful for everyone.
The level of tension can be reduced during these times by the ways that we respond to the situation. Part of this process is learning new ways to express our thoughts and feelings so we won’t cause the other party to put up their defenses and feel as if they’re under attack. Once the conflict is resolved, it’s very common for the solution to be different from what the parties had in mind before entering the conflict resolution process.
Tips to Keep in Mind During Mediation
To keep the process of mediation running more smoothly and to experience a more positive outcome, there are some important things that can be done to help things move along. These tips include:
– Answer Questions Clearly – Be clear with all answers and speak in a way that expresses your wishes and your side of the story without being purposely confrontational
– Remember Courtesy – Being polite to the mediator and everyone involved goes a long way towards a positive settlement. This means paying special attention to tone of voice and body language. Remember to exhibit openness in posture and be aware of facial expressions during the proceedings
– Speak for Yourself – Don’t try to bring other people’s opinions into the matter at hand, this can only lead to confusion. Try to limit the views expressed to those views that are your own
– Keep Focused on Understanding – Instead of trying to prove someone is wrong and the other person is right, try concentrating on understanding both perspectives, views and both sides of the issue. This can go a long way towards coming to a resolution that both parties are happy with
– Practice Before the Mediation – Try practicing explaining your side of the issue with someone who is a trusted friend and confidante. Have them play the part of the other party and go through several scenarios so you’re ready during the actual mediation
When any AZ mediation process is underway, it helps to use something called “I messages”. This means expressing your views in a way that involves saying this is how I feel when this happens, or this is what matters to me. This way, you’re not merely blaming the other party or trying to shame them. You’re simply saying how things affect you, along with telling your side of the story.
Keeping a Positive Attitude Helps with a Resolution
The goal in undergoing mediation outside of the courtroom, especially in sometimes challenging cases like divorce is to come to a mutually agreeable solution. It’s also making everyone feel as if their views on the matter are understood and respected. Being able to work things out through mediation can save time and money and it becomes a positive experience if everyone follows the rules set by the arbitrator while keeping a respectful attitude.